Reflect on the COVID-19 pandemic. The world saw everything from panic and grief to widespread misinformation and conspiracy theories. Could enhanced mental resilience have helped us navigate that storm better?

Did we allow emotions and misinformation to cloud our judgment? In the future, can we reframe our trials as opportunities for growth? Can we emerge from hardship with stronger values, deeper empathy, and renewed purpose?

Adversity can be a crucible for change. It invites us to let go of outdated beliefs and to cultivate fresh thinking. It can inspire new passions, strategic alliances, and a reinvigorated commitment to positive change. Mental toughness is not just the bridge from surviving to thriving; it is the forge.

Everyone claims they want to thrive, but few take the steps needed. Many stay stuck in cycles of blame and repetition, like Sisyphus pushing his boulder. But then there are others, the resurgent ones, who recalibrate and rebuild. They emerge stronger and more fulfilled.
Take the story of The Flight of the Phoenix. Stranded in the Sahara Desert after a plane crash, the survivors rebuilt an aircraft from the wreckage and flew to safety. Have you had a Phoenix moment? Have you risen from adversity, wiser and more resilient?

You might argue there’s little point in living a long life if its bittersweet nature is overwhelmingly bitter—and there’s simply not enough joy.

But I believe joy isn’t something we wait to stumble upon. It can be created or at least discovered. And it often begins with small, intentional actions that “keep you in the game”, ranging from being patient, less judgmental, showing kindness, acting responsibly, nurturing family connections, pursuing optimal health, and expanding your thinking beyond the confines of inherited belief or recurring negative content. These are the building blocks for reimagining a life where the bitter fades and the sweet brightens.

The 2019 Rugby World Cup saw the Springboks triumph. My observations inform me that the Springboks gained a new advantage because of the change in selection strategy planned by SA Rugby. This allowed worldwide selection of players, thus increasing their on-field options. This introduced two advantages into their game plan.

Firstly, they had a bomb squad of reserve players that could produce a late surge in the game when exhaustion was often a major issue (instead, they could go up a gear). They were also enabled to raise the intensity of their intimidation through obsessive aggression. You need only listen to the coach’s team talks on Chasing the Sun 1 to appreciate the level to which he inspired the team to intimidate the opposition.

However, in 2023, in the quarter finals, semifinals, and finals, their bomb squad and intimidation game plans met their match. I observed a new advantage emerge, in the form of willpower to be better in all areas, which arguably gave the Springboks their three one-point victories. In the second documentary Chasing the Sun 2, their success was attributed to themes of hope, inspiration, resilience against adversity, and celebrating the nation’s diversity, determination, and the collective spirit of overcoming challenges.

For those aspiring to use controlled aggression as an additional distinctive difference, Visualization techniques, trigger words, or hand signals can be employed. Importantly, it’s vital to modulate this aggression so that it stays within the boundaries of humane behaviour.

This requires being able to differentiate between harnessing aggression and getting overly excited and righteous. As you navigate the realm of controlled aggression as a competitive advantage, it’s crucial to be aware of extreme hostility or reactionary aggression. It is about channelling aggression with intent and purpose, but steering clear of “naked” aggression, in particular harming others in pursuit of what you believe to be your right.

Historical figures like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and Wangari Maathai serve as profound examples of this principle. Each has harnessed mental strength and purpose to drive transformative change without resorting to unrestrained aggression. Gandhi famously stated that true strength arises not from physical force but from an indomitable will—a sentiment reflected in the lives and legacies of Mandela and Maathai, who used their inner resolve to confront systemic injustices and champion environmental and social causes.

Willpower is often the engine of achievement. American actor Will Smith, celebrated for his exceptional work ethic, expressed this through his relentless dedication to outworking his peers. However, his actions at the 2022 Oscars highlight the importance of exercising controlled aggression—demonstrating that even the most disciplined individuals can falter without it. True success lies in a balanced blend of willpower, hard work, and judiciously applied aggression, ensuring actions align with purpose and principles.

Applying controlled aggression requires a nuanced understanding of when to apply intense force and when to exercise restraint. Achieving this balance through a holistic approach, i.e., body, mind, and humaneness, is paramount to ensuring long-term success and dominance in any field.

I understand optimal wellness to go beyond medical health. It includes life satisfaction, purpose, and resilience. In the journey from surviving to thriving or experiencing more thriving, wellness is a force multiplier—it bolsters energy reserves and keeps us steady through life’s many trials and disappointments, fuelling resilience, purpose, performance, and a sense of success and significance.

Yet, many trade health for success or soothe distress with habits that jeopardise their health. As a powerful verse puts it: “They squander their health in search of wealth; they sweat, they toil, and they slave. Then they squander their wealth in search of health—and only find the grave.”

Being a sportsman at heart, I, somewhat naively, liken some aspects of life to a rugby match. It has a structure and flow, with planned plays and the unpredictability of the opposition and injuries. A rugby match has 80 minutes – Life is roughly 80 years, with the chance of an early ending or bonus time. Like a rugby team, we need a game plan—a blueprint that aligns our actions with our intentions.

Here I am not referring to time management – which at times is important but I prefer to start with leading the life that you think is worth living. Once you have clarified your strategy about how to lead your life, time management becomes a tactical plan and negates the notion of winding down the clock as your term approaches an end.

Now, let’s walk along the wellness continuum, first introduced by Dr John W. Travis in 1972. At its centre lies “surviving”—a place that may appear outwardly healthy but sits precariously on the edge of change. Every choice nudges us left or right, toward decline or vitality.

Wellness is not static. It shifts with how we treat our bodies, guide our thoughts, express emotions, connect meaningfully, and remain aware of our fragile environment. It’s less about where you are and more about where you’re heading.

To the right lies physical, mental, and social well-being—the space where life brightens and thriving becomes possible. To the left, pain and dysfunction remind us of the cost of neglect. Every decision moves you in one direction. The challenge is to remain intentional.

“The purpose of life is not chasing happiness. It is to be useful, honourable, and compassionate.”(Ralph Waldo Emerson)
I began the wellness chapter referring to joy and now turn to happiness—not as a fleeting emotion but as a deeper state of contentment with congruence. Happiness is often misunderstood and can be mistaken for excitement, novelty, or the rush of accomplishment. But these moments, while uplifting, are transient. Goal achievement can quickly fade into adaptation, leaving us craving the next win.

The real challenge is that the pursuit of happiness, when framed as an end goal or as an antidote to dullness, can become self-defeating. The more we chase it, the more it eludes us. We sacrifice our time, our health, and our relationships in pursuit of what we think will make us happy eventually, only to discover that the feeling is brief, and the cost often high. This is the adaptation trap—where each new success becomes the new normal.

Instead of viewing happiness as a destination, try to see it as a by-product of living with meaning, decency values, and balance. In this light, happiness becomes a natural outcome of intention-driven living. It emerges because our actions are aligned with who we truly are —when our inner life is not in conflict with our external reality.
In most of South African cultures, we approach the happiness conundrum as something that is intricately tied to community well-being. “I am because we are.” Here, happiness is not just personal but is a collective —it’s found in belonging, in shared purpose, and mutual upliftment. This reframing of happiness can seem to counter the Western notion of the individual pursuit of happiness and reminds us that even in a Western culture, our fulfilment is often intertwined with others’ well-being.

To integrate happiness within our emotional spectrum, we need to normalise our full range of emotions: Sadness, frustration, suspicion and uncertainty aren’t the opposite of happiness — they’re part of a rich, textured life. So, our scope for happiness grows stronger when we make space for the entire emotional orchestra.
Let us not pursue happiness as a stand-alone prize or end goal, but let it arise from meaningful actions, habits, connections, contributions, and a life lived with the awareness that I am part of a family and a society with a lot of opportunity to express myself and lead a varied, fulfilled life.
Paraphrasing the Dhali Lama – Happiness is not something ready-made – it is filtered through your perception and comes from your own actions.

In a changing world, updating book editions is essential to ensure principles remain relevant, transforming survival into sustained success.

This bold new edition of Mental Toughness reflects more than a redesigned cover; it represents the evolution of a mindset, a methodology, and a force multiplier for modern life, leadership, and performance.

Mental toughness acts as a force multiplier, blending passionate “fire” with calm “ice” to drive small, consistent adaptations (the “game of inches”).

Developing this, according to Steve Harris, requires seven steps – concentration, composure, controlled aggression, confidence, calculated risk, competence, and commitment – to proactively manage change rather than just reacting to it.

Read more about this new book release in the link here.